Fourth Position

Today starts my “rest” week after 4 rounds of chemotherapy. Rest week is strange term for many chemo patients. The thought is, it gives your body a chance to recover from the previous onslaught of cytotoxin coursing throughout your body. When I was told about “rest week” I must admit, I pictured palm trees, waves and a gentle trade wind blowing through my oh so perfectly placed curls and “The Rock” serving me poke… The reality of “rest week” is anything but rest. You become a high strung race horse about to run on a very slippery track with 3 legs and a morbidly obese jockey on your back yelling at you in a language you failed in high school.  Nothing makes sense. Side effects have no rhyme or reason and no descernable schedule. You wake up and feel pretty good only to have to sit down to brush your teeth. Feel good again but then food looks like it will sprout legs and a second set of teeth and run off the plate as you hightail it to the nearest bathroom. Feel good again but neuropathy keeps your hands and feet from working correctly.    Rest week?

I understand the science behind the concept. Your body needs time to process the onslaught of various highly toxic fluids coursing around your body. No cell, good,bad or indifferent is safe from a slow and painful demise. They must all be Sacrificed for the Greater Good! If you’ve never watched the silent movie, Metropolis, I recommend it as you can get a good visual as to how chemotherapy works..

*Todays musings are unfortunately short due to fatigue and neuropathy..Next installment will make up for that…probably

Fourth position is considered an important position as it is integral to performing a pirouette correctly, to get the right “spin”  I look at rest week like an out of control pirouette. You spin and spin and spin with no ability to stop the damage caused by it.

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12 Replies to “Fourth Position”

  1. “You become a high strung race horse about to run on a very slippery track with 3 legs and a morbidly obese jockey on your back yelling at you in a language you failed in high school.” Great analogy. I get this Carla. I think you are a VERY good writer. Is it ok to say I feel furious at your Cancer?

    Liked by 1 person

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