Mustering up the energy to write today is a monumental task. Imagine jumping into a pool with your laptop. You must balance yourself and attempt to open the lid. Balance the ‘puter and get your fingers to do as commanded. Only, your brain refuses to participate in this little experiment you have embarked on. Your fingers hit the keys blindly since you can not come up with a coherent thought or anything even remotely witty. Now don’t forget to balance yourself and watch out for the pool vacuum because it will suck up the cord..
This little excersize in futility is the result of chemotherapy induced neuropathy. One of many many side effects, this one is tangible. You can see it happen and are helpless to control it. The sensation of a cold glass of water in your hand or just taking anything out of the fridge becomes pins and needles, as is the feeling of it in your mouth and down your throat..This lasts about 5 days or so after the 5FU pump is disconnected. Other side effects are severe fatigue. Putting toothpaste on your toothbrush is similar in reaching K2 without any gear what so ever in flip flops and torn LuLaRoe leggings…It’s running through water without the aerobic benefits. Your out of breathe, sweating profusely and your legs feel like they are about to collapse. Fear not dear readers, I put up with this in the name of good dental hygiene and it makes my adorable dentist very happy…
Overheard in The Chemo Room last week: ” I know what your going through, my Aunt’s cousin’s brother’s nephew is going through the same thing” . “All my relatives over the age of 55 have died of cancer” “I’ll pray for you” Oh boy, that really is a touchy subject..Seems like the consensus that day in The Chemo Room was, ” Thanks, but praying doesn’t seem to be working for me”. My personal suggestion is to be careful about advising someone it’s all going to be ok. Sometimes it’s just not. If you truly want to be helpful, just be available. Don’t ask, just do.
Third position is very rarely done, though it still has a spot as one of the five basic ballet positions. The reason it is not commonly used beyond a beginner level is that a third position can very easily look like a misplaced first or fifth position. This is an awkward position for your feet. Hard to hold and rarely used. This past week was my Third Position. I had a hard time holding on and I felt awkward and unbalanced.