The Leotard

Today was the second day of chemo.  A much shorter visit which consisted of refilling my take home pump of 5fu and hit of  heparin . I also had some decadron in the mix. I was in initially happy to be done so soon as all I wanted to do was go home and lay down, but then I panicked and started thinking a mistake was made and I didn’t get all my chemo!!!!! After asking a very patient and pretty nurse 3 times if I really was done, I picked up my blankie that Isaac gave me, my “supply of stuff” bag and my coffee and headed home. I did wait in the parking Lot a full 15 minutes just in case a mistake was made.
First night didn’t go as well as I had hoped for. Being tethered to a pump is complicated for a girl who failed geometry 3 times in High School only to receive a pity pass…
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After figuring out how to undress and get redressed for bed, all the while Mr. Pumpy (Thank you Susie) and I sat and waited for…….”The mother of all shit storms”.  I had been warned, given literature to read to cope with it but lo and behold!!!!!!!! Nada, zilch, nothing…….Next day still nothing…I mentioned it to the very patient and pretty nurse who looked wild eyed when I told her my predicament…More on this tomorrow…  (if the CIA is monitoring my posts, your in for a wild ride).
Side effects so far: No appetite at all. Food looks gross. I do have a weird potato craving . When food or liquids first go in my mouth, there is intense burning. I have neuropathy in my hands making them super sensitive to cold objects, also a burning sensation if I lay my hands on the cold kitchen counter. Constant slight headache and fatigue.  Tomorrow I go for a neulasta injection only…I won’t need my blue blankie or bag of tricks.
My Surgical Oncologist emailed me the impressions of the Radiology staff at University of Pennsylvania. I don’t want to open them thinking they say something a lot worse than I’m being told.

All of this is similar to putting on a freshly washed leotard that my mom didn’t bother to unknot for me before ballet class. At first I tried getting my legs (Ashkenazi thighs) into the arm openings. No dice…Ok, turn it around and put them in the right holes. Why is the neck stuck at my waist? Why are my tights slowly cutting off circulation? Is that hole in my tights where my arms go?   Ok, I’ m ready to learn Swan Lake but I feel like a dodo in pink…who can’t poop..il_570xN.372260942_ntlr

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